Want

A little while ago we had a major financial setback. Something out of our control cost us most of our savings. We're doing okay, but we don't have any extra at the end of the month. We're not in a position to rebuild our savings.

So, here's an interesting question: Are we willing to go into debt to do fertility treatments for baby #2? Clomid didn't work for me, and Gonal-f is expensive: I used about $2,000 worth of the stuff during one IUI cycle. We certainly can't afford that right now.

The funny thing is that I've been having doubts about whether we should even have another baby. But last night, as I thought about the fact that I'm currently on CD58 with no "o" in sight, which raises serious doubts in my mind about whether we will be able to conceive without intervention... well, suddenly I was very sure that I want another baby.

I guess we always want what we can't (easily) have.

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17 months

I'm loving this age... for the most part. The tough part is the whining and tantrums. Already. I wasn't expecting it to be this bad so soon! Oh my gawd.

This month: Fall is by far my favourite season, and this year I've discovered a new reason to love it: harvest festivals at the many local family farms. Andrew and I have been to three so far and just might check out one more before the end of the month... and I have yet to get that perfect pumpkin patch picture! The kid just won't stay still for two seconds. He runs around saying "hi" to the cows and sheep, etc., and making his animal sounds. He loves the sandlot toys and the wagon rides and the straw mountains. So fun!

Food: I've been dragging my feet at the transition from bottles to sippy cups. A while ago, we switched to sippy cups for his afternoon milk, but he still had bottles in the morning and before bed. This month I switched his morning bottle to a sippy, and boy was he mad! Some mornings he still smacks the sippy out of my hand and won't touch it until he's in his booster seat eating his cereal.

Sleep schedule: We've pretty much completed the transition from two naps to one. He's been sleeping in until 8:00 most mornings and goes down for his nap around 12:30. It lasts anywhere from 1.5 to 3 hours. Yay!

Vocabulary: Last month's "weee?" has evolved into "whezeee?" ("where is it?"). He throws his hands up in the air in the universal "I don't know" gesture and looks around for... well, most of the time we don't know what he's looking for. But eventually he'll "find" whatever it is and hold it aloft, pronouncing "day-dehr!" ("there it is!"). He fell in love with my mom's dog, Riley, when we visited last weekend, and at least five times a day ever since, he says, "Whyeee! Whezeee?" So cute! Last month's ubiquitous "ah-den?" has pretty much disappeared, replaced by "up" and "more" and "uh-huh" while pointing at something he wants.

New "tricks": I was so impressed when he brought me his alphabet book, turned to the "M" page, and said, "mama!" ("monkey"). Then he said, "aww" and hugged it. The boy loves his monkeys! Since then he has also started pointing out the train ("choo-choo!") and the bus ("buhh").

And he's started blowing kisses! I tried to teach him to blow kisses a few months ago but hadn't mentioned it in a while. Then the other day I asked him for a kiss and he put his hand over his mouth and made a smooching noise. Where did that come from?? And he says "night-night" on a semi-nightly basis. LOVE IT!

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I will

• continue to make a meal plan each week and cook dinner each night for my family.
• keep on top of the dishes and cleaning.
• strictly stick to our monthly budget.
  
• be more disciplined in my work habits.
  
• come up with fun indoor activities to do with Andrew to get us through the winter.
• work on losing weight ... being deliberately vague here ... but I will.
• try to be happier and healthier in general.
  

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I am thankful

My Thanksgiving dinner was a success! I have a new appreciation for my mother and my grandmother before her for their hard work in preparing all those lovely holiday dinners over the years. I mean, I knew it was a lot of work, but I didn't understand exactly how much went into those meals until I was responsible for creating one myself. I loved it, though, and would gladly do it again.

My future sister-in-law suggested a trip out to the cemetery to visit my father-in-law's grave. I stayed behind to slave over the hot stove some more, but everyone else went. I thought it was very sweet of FSIL to think to include my father-in-law in this first holiday since his passing. Can't believe nobody else suggested it! Overall, it was a very pleasant day. I think everyone had a nice time. I know Andrew had a blast playing with his cousin and his uncles.

So. Thanksgiving. I tend to focus on the negative — something I'm working on — but the truth is I have a pretty comfortable life. I have a family who loves me and whom I adore, I have a few good friends, a roof over my head, food on the table, clothes on my back, etc. For now, at least, I have the joy of spending every day home with my amazing little boy. Overall, I'm a pretty lucky girl. And, yes, I am thankful, for these things and for so many little things, including baby snuggles and unexpected phone calls just to say hi, hot tea and pumpkin pie. You get the idea.

Peace and happiness to you all. :)

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I'm hosting Thanksgiving

For the first time ever, I'm going to be cooking a turkey and all the fixings. Usually I just bring a dessert to someone else's house, but this year my husband's immediate family will be gathering at our place. It'll be a sad occasion — the first holiday/family get-together since my father-in-law passed away last month.

I wasn't given much notice, so I'm still working on putting together a menu with days to spare (Canadian Thanksgiving is this Sunday), but I'm kind of excited to test my culinary skills. I'll let you know what I came up with, and maybe even post a few pictures, after the big day.

I have to share: In my search for recipes, I came across foodgawker.com, which links to countless amazing recipes via gorgeous food photos. Oh my, I could waste a lot of hours drooling over that site.

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