Playtime!
>> Sunday, June 28, 2009
My darling boy hasn't been sleeping much (at all, even) during the day recently. It's made for a stressed out, sleep-deprived mommy and a grumpy baby. Well, today he had not one but TWO daytime naps, thanks in part to Daddy's awesome rocking skills. After the first nap, he woke up smiling instead of crying, ate more efficiently than he ever does, and played for the first time on his play mat. (See picture. I also have videos!) Two hours later, Daddy rocked him back to sleep and, to my utter amazement, got him down for a second nap! The first nap was three hours long; he's just starting to stir now, one hour into his second nap.
Happy baby makes for a happy mommy. I've had an awesome day — don't even know what to do with all this free time — and I hope I can keep up this routine during the week.
It's so much fun watching him interact with us and his environment. He seemed to enjoy his play mat, batting and cooing at the dangling toys and kicking his legs and panting in excitement. So adorable!
Wowza!
>> Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Andrew has gained almost a pound in just eight days, for a grand total of 10 pounds, 12 ounces at five weeks of age. Unbelievable!
I was feeling better about the breastfeeding situation, but I was knocked back down by today's appointment at the clinic. The nurse there told me that the reason Andrew isn't napping properly is that he's hungry. If he was really satiated, she said, he'd have no problem going for a two-hour nap in his crib after each feeding.
I have no idea how to apply this knowledge. I'm not sure how I could possibly feed him more. And, well, his weight gain is spectacular. How could he gain like that if he's going hungry all day?
One Month Old
>> Sunday, June 21, 2009
My sweet baby is already a month old, can you believe it? He's about to outgrow this sleeper already. His daddy and I are sad about that — it's such a cute sleeper. What a silly thing to be sad about! I know there will be many favourite outfits in his future. But... he's already getting so big! Time is flying by.
This weekend we took Andrew to my hometown to meet the rest of my family — his grandpa and step-grandma, his step-aunts and step-cousins, his great-grandparents, and his many great-uncles and a few cousins. Of course everyone doted on him and called him cute. (Of course they said he's cute, but I tend to believe them. I may be biased.)
I know it's a bit early, but I swear he smiles and makes happy faces in response to his environment. The two of us had a lovely half-hour on Saturday morning during which I cooed and stuck out my tongue and made faces and he grinned and cooed and squirmed in response. I'm so in love. We're eagerly awaiting the first baby giggles.
9 lbs 14 oz
>> Wednesday, June 17, 2009
That's how much Andrew weighs as of yesterday. That means he gained 1 lb, 8 oz in the 12 days between visits to the breastfeeding clinic — solid evidence that I'm not starving my baby. What a relief! And I haven't been supplementing very much, probably an average of only 150 mL (5 oz) per day, so he's getting plenty from breastfeeding.
I've decided to take the clinic's advice as a guideline and do my own thing from there. Specifically, I am going to pump when I can, and I am not going to hesitate to give Andrew a bottle when he is frantic and screaming and refusing both breasts. I'll keep the bottle as a last resort, but I will use it if I feel it is necessary for baby's health and my sanity.
Babyfeeding Update
>> Monday, June 8, 2009
The first feeding after the visit with the breastfeeding clinic was disastrous. It was a three-hour-long marathon that left me sobbing and both of us very frustrated, while Keith kept saying, "It's okay, it's okay." I couldn't get the hold or the latch right; the compressions didn't seem to do anything; we couldn't get the stupid tube to work. Finally, I gave up and told Keith to get us a bottle.
Things have progressed since then, but I don't think this is any easier or necessarily better than what I was doing before. We were muddling along at least as well as we are now. More than ever I feel like I am constantly nursing.
...
I wrote the above about 14 hours ago. The latest update: I seem to have gone from apparent undersupply to oversupply. My baby now cries and claws at his face and my breast and pulls off the nipple, only to frantically reattach and repeat the process. He is spitting up a great deal. I can't seem to fill his belly, which means constant marathon feeds and no sleep for either of us. This is very upsetting. I can understand now why people quit.
Adventures in Babyfeeding
>> Thursday, June 4, 2009
On his third day of life, the first day we had him home alone, my poor little Andrew wasn't having any wet or dirty diapers. Around the 18-hour mark of the dry spell, I called the provincial health help line and was told to take him to emergency. We were there for nine miserable hours, from 11:30 p.m. to 9:00 a.m., with me crying intermittently from the guilt and frustration of not being able to provide well enough for my baby despite what felt like constant nursing. At the hospital they took blood from his heel (twice, because they didn't take enough the first time) and twice tried unsuccessfully to catheterize him. They declared him mildly dehydrated and had me feed him a bottle of formula. We left with instructions to supplement with formula.
Since then we've been paranoid — is he getting enough? For the next week we gave him formula by bottle after every breastfeeding session. Once my milk came in, on day five after the birth, we rushed out and bought a $200 breast pump to relieve the engorgement and with the hope of replacing the formula with breast milk. Between the frequent, long feedings and Andrew's preference to nap on me, I've been having a hard time figuring out when to pump and have only been managing it once a day.
I have a very sleepy baby who is all eager to take the nipple but falls asleep within minutes. He never seems to suck deeply. One of my baby books calls him a nipper napper. And I guess he's probably become used to the ease of bottlefeeding and just waits out the time I keep him on the breast until I give in and offer the bottle. I also often have to wake him from naps when it's been too long between feedings.
And my nipples hurt.
I went to a breastfeeding clinic today and found out I've been doing everything wrong. At the hospital they told me I might find football hold easiest because of my large breasts; the folks at the clinic said I should really do cross-cradle. I should supplement with a lactation aid instead of a bottle, and I should stop pumping to allow my breasts to fill up. I should start taking three different kinds of supplements (fenugreek, blessed thistle, and domperidone) three times a day to boost my milk supply. Oh! They also said he had a tongue tie, meaning the little flap of skin under his tongue (the frenulum) was too tight, and clipped it on the spot. Apparently there are no nerve endings there, and it didn't seem to hurt him.
It's all just a little overwhelming. Shouldn't breastfeeding be easy and natural?
I Love
>> Wednesday, June 3, 2009
People warned me that life with a newborn is rough, and while I had no trouble believing that is true, there was no way I could really understand until I experienced it. It's hard. It's awful to be achingly tired knowing that there's no hope of getting more than three hours of sleep at a time for months to come. It's difficult to deal with a fussy, crying, screaming baby while you're so tired you just want to cry yourself. And I do cry with him sometimes. And sometimes I cry just looking at him and marvelling at how beautiful he is, at what a miracle he is, at how lucky I am to have him. I'm so full of love.
I love...
- his quiet alert moments when he gazes at me intently with his bright eyes
- his cute little baby noises
- his warm weight as he sleeps curled up on my chest
- the silky hair on his velvety head
- the way he holds his fists on either side of his mouth when he eats
- the way he makes a dozen adorable faces as he slowly wakes from a deep sleep
... and so much more.
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