Hitting my stride

My parental leave is up this week. In a parallel universe, I'm getting ready to return to work and bursting into tears every time I think about being away from my baby all day. In this universe, I'm delighted to be carrying on as a stay-at-home mom. I have a regular freelance gig that'll bring in enough money to make ends meet, and my former employer just asked if I'd like to do freelance work for them as well! I may find myself working some late nights — I have no illusions about being productive while Andrew's awake — but it'll be so worth it.

Andrew is an absolute joy these days. Ever since we moved last month and he got his own bedroom, he's been sleeping 11-12 hours every night and usually napping well too. At last! Hallelujah! He's very vocal; I love his hilarious babbling and the dramatic hand gestures that often accompany it. When he stands on his own he looks so triumphant and proud of himself. He's going to be walking soon! My baby... almost a toddler. *sniff*

We have a nice little routine going. We enjoy our weekly community centre classes (this session it's swimming and music), we go for walks and trips to the park, and sometimes I manage to get stuff done while he naps. For the first time in my short motherhood, I'm feeling pretty good about things. For the most part I feel like I know what I'm doing, and like maybe, just maybe, I'm even doing a good job. It's easy when (dare I say it?) I have such a good baby. I know I could find myself singing a different tune in a couple of weeks, but for now I'm going to enjoy this feeling. It only took me a year to get here.

Life is good.

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NIAW

I am lucky. Lucky that my struggle with infertility was relatively brief. Lucky that I had only one loss along the way. Lucky that we didn't have to go thousands of dollars into debt to pay for procedure after procedure. Lucky that, in the end, we conceived our baby on our own, without meds. Lucky that our son was born healthy. My heart aches for those who have not been so fortunate. My thoughts are, as always, with those of you still fighting to make your dream of motherhood come true.

Some links:

Infertility 101
National Infertility Awareness Week
Project IF

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Party planning

Andrew's birthday is in less than a month, so I need to get busy planning some sort of celebration. In an ideal world, I would gather everyone who loves him — all our closest family and friends — in our backyard for a fun BBQ. In reality, that's not possible, not least because we don't have a backyard, only a balcony. My husband's family lives here in town, but most of my family lives two hours away, and except for my mom they aren't likely to make the trip. Also, my parents are not together, and my dad's wife makes friendly relations between them impossible. So what are we supposed to do? Have three parties to accommodate everyone? I don't think so.

What we are going to do, I guess, is have my husband's parents and siblings, my mom, my cousin (who lives in town), and hopefully a couple of friends over for an afternoon. It'll be a low-key affair, but I still want it to be special. So far I've spent hours scouring the net for the right party theme. I'm planning to make my first foray into cake decorating. I've purchased not one but TWO first birthday shirts. (The second one was just too adorable to resist.)

Anyway. There's quite a lot to do in the next three weeks. I suppose I should have started planning sooner, but man... I just can't believe my baby is turning one already.

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A fresh start

Don't you just love spring? The warm breeze, the tender green growth, and the feeling of contentment that comes with putting away your winter clothes? It's a good time for new beginnings. In that spirit, I've made a fresh start with this new blog.

If you're here, you're probably familiar with my old blog. The content here will likely be much the same, but I decided I needed a happier URL for this happier phase of my life. I still have some work to do, but so far I've had a lot of fun setting up the pages in the linkbar above, and I think it's ready for its debut. Isn't it pretty?

(The template is from Premades for a Purpose. The designer is charging a small fee for her beautiful templates to raise funds for her adoption. If you're thinking about redecorating your own blog, check them out. You're bound to find one you love!)

ETA: I finally decided, in January 2011, to import my old blog.

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The Things You Do

You're always on the move these days, crawling here, there, and everywhere. You love to throw balls around and chase them. You're often thoroughly occupied by flipping the pages of your books.

You're a rough little dude! You seem to find it necessary to swipe things off of tabletops, rip hats off of heads (yours and others), and knock over anything neatly stacked or piled. You're constantly throwing Daddy's DVDs off the shelf and trying to pull his glasses of his face. If we're sitting or lying on the floor with you, you love to climb over us just to get to the other side.

There are tender moments too. Sometimes when you first wake up in the morning, you just want to be held for a while, and I'm happy to oblige. I love rocking you in my arms at bedtime. Sometimes, in your rare snuggly moments, you stroke my arm or my hair or gently touch my face, and my heart swells with love for my darling baby.

You make this funny coughing sound when you're excited that is also more often than not your laugh, although you also have an awesome belly laugh that totally makes my day. Lately the best way to hear that laugh is to pretend to nibble and blow raspberries on your belly. Your latest tricks are clapping and shaking your head "no," and you can do them both when I ask you to, which is so cool. I love seeing that you understand what I'm saying. We're trying to get you to wave bye-bye and give high fives, but you're not there just yet. Sometimes you get very vocal, entertaining everyone with your babbling and funny noises.

You are such a Mommy's boy these days. When I'm around, nobody else will do. If I leave the room you come crawling after me as fast as you can and cling to my legs until I pick you up. Talk about separation anxiety! Part of me enjoys all the Mommy love, but it's also a bit overwhelming. And I think it hurts Daddy's feelings sometimes!

Feeding you is always a bit of a challenge. I can count on you to finish your cereal most days, but other meals are hit and miss. Right now you love crackers, Cheerios, peas, and blueberries. We're working on getting you to use a sippy cup, but no luck yet.

You hate lying in Mommy and Daddy's bed and being rocked in the nice glider we bought just for you. Changing your diaper and getting you dressed can be extremely difficult. You get very upset when we're using the computer and won't let you bang on the keys! You hate your new stroller.

You seem to like swimming class and hanging out in the bathtub. You love bouncing games and being upside down. You smile whenever you look in the mirror or see a picture of yourself.

You're so much fun. I love watching you grow into an amazing, independent person. I can't wait to get to know the little boy you'll soon become.

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Nine months old!

Wow, three-quarters of a year already gone. My little baby is no longer so little! He's crawling like a madman and pulling up and cruising with ease. He amazes me every day.

I thought his weight gain had picked up, but unfortunately that was not the case. His doctor recommended that we increase his solids intake dramatically. I'm feeling at a loss. He'll always eat his cereal and yogurt, but lately everything else is likely to be met with lips stubbornly sealed shut. Frustrating. I'll keep trying, of course, but in the meantime I figure he can eat as much cereal as he wants if it'll keep him growing!

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5:00 a.m.

Oh, how I loathe 5:00 a.m.

When I get up at 5:00 a.m. my eyes water and my head aches. It's hours before I feel really awake, and the fatigue lingers all day. So it really sucks that Andrew has chosen 5:00 a.m. as his new wake-up time.

I am not a good mother at 5:00 a.m. I am irritable and impatient. I can think only of sleep and when I can get some more. "How soon can I get you to take a nap?" I think obsessively while I watch my baby play.

A 7:00 wake-up time would be ideal. I would grudgingly accept 6:00. But not 5:00. Please not 5:00.

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