Sooo...

I feel like I should share that earlier this week I abruptly decided to call off TTC#2 for now. I let baby fever get the best of me. My husband was never really on board, but I sort of steamrolled over his concerns. And I cried to get my way. (Not really; I was honestly upset as we talked about the possibility of never having another child. I can't help it if my tears swayed him.)

But as things started to progress — as we met with the new RE and started testing — I started to get nervous and have doubts of my own. I wanted DH to reassure me, but he couldn't. We were, after all, moving ahead because I had insisted that everything would be okay.

I finally realized about a week ago that I was being selfish and unfair, and I decided to call it off. It was not an easy decision to make. I cried. A lot. But after a few days I think I found some peace in the decision. We are not closing the door on having another baby. For now we have agreed to reassess in January. I'm not sure if anything will have changed by then, but you never know, right? For example, we could win the lottery.

What? It could happen.

The bottom line is that Andrew gets to be an only child for at least another year and a half. Maybe that's not such a bad thing.