The Family Situation
>> Thursday, May 14, 2009
My mom lives about two hours away. For various reasons, she decided she's going to come on May 16, whether the baby's here or not. So, she's coming on Saturday to stay with us for possibly as long as a week in our one-bedroom apartment. (She's driving here alone for the first time in the eight years I've lived here, by the way — she's very afraid of the highway near the big city. I guess she just needed the right incentive! I'm not holding my breath on it becoming a regular occurrence, though.)
It would have been convenient if the baby had decided to show up before she comes. See, Keith and I agree that we don't want the family hanging around the hospital while I'm in L&D. We're not planning to call anyone until late in the process or possibly even after the delivery. And the hospital encourages an hour of skin-to-skin time immediately after the birth. I want that time to belong to the three of us. If there are people anxiously waiting outside to meet the baby, I'm going to feel like I have to let them in, and then I'll probably feel like I have to pass him around.
My mom doesn't know anyone else here, and it would be weird and mean to make her wait at our place the whole time. I guess she's going to end up at the hospital with us. I love my mom and we get along fine, but I have no desire to have her present for any part of L&D. And if she's there, how can we keep my in-laws away?
This is all going to be so awkward when it shouldn't be. Or maybe, as usual, I'm making things more complicated than they need to be. I just wish I knew how it was all going to go down. It would be awesome if I went into labour tomorrow. Interesting side note, though — if he's born tomorrow he'll share both our wedding anniversary and his grandfather's birthday.
3 comments:
I'm sorry you are faced with an added worry at this point...but I would suggest you not worry to much about it. You have to focus on yourself and your baby right now. You have EVERY right to have the kind of L&D you want so don't be afraid to request and make your wishes known for family to stay away until you are ready. Your mom loves you, so she will understand. If you don't go ahead and ask for what you want, you might regret it later...in the end you want your birth experience to be as wonderful as it can be, so do what YOU want! Wishing you all the best in the coming days and hope you have an easy wonderful labour!
That is so tough and I completely understand how you feel . We had already tol everybody that we were not going to call anybody until after the baby was born. Now that I am having a planned c section we are having my parents there (because it IS major surgery) but we just laid out our wishes very clearly. We told them that after the baby is born and I am stitched up we want some bonding time with just the 3 of us. I apologized that they be waiting several hours after the surgery but this is our moment. The are bringing big books and just planning on being in the waiting room all morning. Hope this helps. Do what is best for you and your hubby and baby. Good luck! Can't wait to see pics.
Mothers sure make things tricky! I'm due Sept 21 and so when my Mom asked when she should book her vacation (and plane tickets) I told her Oct 5 would be good.
She's decided that her and Dad are coming on the 25. This doesn't make me happy. I want to labour on my own time, at my own pace, and for as long as possible in my own house! If she and my Dad are staying here I'm going to feel like I have to stay locked in my bedroom. Dad says she's doing it because she wants to come to the hospital and be helpful, problem being she is not welcome at the hospital.
Grant and I got into this situation in private and we plan to get out of it in private too! LOL
Good luck,
Alicia
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