The Honeymoon Is Over

Don't worry, my marriage is fine; I'm referring to my new job. Just 2.5 months in, I'm realizing that I'm not going to be happy there. At first I was simply relieved to have left my old job, and then I was overwhelmed with learning new stuff, and briefly I was even enjoying using my new knowledge... but now it's just tedious and the days are dragging by so slowly. Especially since my boss reassigned the one product that was different — the one I actually enjoyed working on — saying that she was evening out workload. (Even though she said it wasn't meant to be a criticism, a part of me definitely took it as one.)

So, here I am, thirty years old, with no idea what I want to do with my life. I have no idea what kind of job I would actually enjoy. I feel like I'm not particularly good at anything, and I have few interests. I'm looking towards the next thirty-five years of my working life with confusion and dread.

In TTC news, I had my 7DPO bloodwork today, which confirmed ovulation. I'm supposed to go in for a beta on Tuesday if I don't have my period yet. I might call back and change that to later in the week; Tuesday is really the earliest I think AF might show.

Oh yeah, I asked Dr. L why he didn't trigger me, and he explained that even though my follicle was 20mm+ a few days before o, my estrogen wasn't high enough to indicate that it was mature. He assured me it was a fine follicle, not too big, not too old, and that I have a good chance this cycle.

Hey, do you think sharp stomach pains and weird cramping could be a symptom of implantation? Nah, me neither.

(P.S. Thanks so much to those who commented on my hair poll last week. I'm a little embarrassed of it, though, and so tonight I deleted it. I ended up getting side bangs, but I can't figure out how to style them to make them look like bangs. The stylist insisted on lots of layering and a "V" at the back. The result? Doesn't look a whole lot different than before. Sigh.)