Lap Continued

Yes, I have still more thoughts to share about it, but yesterday's post was quite long enough!

I want to say, as a follow-up to my anxiety post a couple of days ago, that the hospital was not intimidating, and the staff were all very nice and sweet and made jokes to get me to relax.

And here's the best part: When Dr. L spoke to K right after the surgery, he said our chances have been improved by 18 percent. That sounds like a completely random number to me, but I'll take it! I'm afraid my optimism is going to be out of control next cycle.

Since I'm not taking metformin this cycle, I figure I'm not likely to get AF before my follow-up appointment next month. Dr. L will have to give me provera to bring on a bleed and we should get IUI cycle #3 going by late May. Come on, baby!

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My Lap Experience

Yesterday I was mostly okay. Hungry on and off, but nothing I couldn't handle. This morning I was miserable. For some unfathomable reason we had to be at the hospital two hours before surgery. Shortly after I got there they dressed me in the hospital gown, robe, and slippers, took my blood pressure, asked a few questions, gave me a blanket, and sent me back to the waiting room to wait for almost two more hours. I had a headache that was bordering on a migraine and I had to rush to the bathroom to throw up bile three or four times. And I was freezing but having occasional hot flashes. I put my head on K's shoulder and tried to sleep. I think I managed to doze for a while.

Finally they came and got me and I couldn't wait for them to knock me out. I remember the IV going in, then looking around waiting to feel groggy or something, and then I was gone. When I woke up I was incredibly thirsty and shivering hard under a heated blanket. Once the shivering was over and I was a little more awake, I actually felt okay — definitely better than I had pre-op.

They moved me to recovery, gave me water, and K came to see me. He told me the results: apparently they removed some endo. Just a bit from two spots. I was not expecting that! I thought there would be some scar tissue, and we actually got conflicting reports on that. Dr. L told K there was no scar tissue, but when his assistant stopped by to go over the results with me she said they removed a small band of scar tissue. She also said they were expecting to see a polyp and there wasn't one. Um, I didn't know we suspected polyps. Weird. I'm supposed to go for a follow-up with Dr. L in about four weeks.

Anyway, they told me to sleep, and K went away, but I couldn't sleep. It was loud in there and I had to pee. Finally I got a nurse's attention and she took me to the bathroom. One of my fears going in was that I wouldn't be able to pee afterwards (there'd been a couple of recent posts about that on the Nest), but I had no problem. The nurse even seemed impressed by how much I went. LOL Also, there was a lot of blood from, the nurse said, moving my uterus around. Ew.

By the time K came back I still hadn't slept, so they discharged me and we took a cab home. We were at the hospital from 8:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., and poor K was there the whole time, bless his bored little heart, mostly doing Sudoku puzzles on the Nintendo DS. I ate some toast when we got home (which made me very full) and had a nap from 6:30 to 8:00. I have some tenderness in my abdomen and pain at my incision sites, a sore throat (probably from a breathing tube, although I have no memory or knowledge of one), and a bit of shoulder pain from the carbon dioxide they used to expand my abdomen during the surgery. So far I've taken one Tylenol 3. Overall, I'm feeling surprisingly okay.

Well! That account turned out to be way more detailed than I was expecting. I highlighted the results in blue in case anyone got bored and just wanted to get to the meat of the matter. :)

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Eek!

It's finally here! Today is bowel prep day, and tomorrow is my laparoscopy (and dye injection, hysteroscopy, and D&C).

I was allowed to have a light breakfast before 8:00 a.m., and now I can have only clear fluids until 6:30 a.m. tomorrow, after which time I can have "nothing by mouth." (The surgery's at 10:30 a.m.) We just came back from buying supplies at the grocery store. Today's menu for me: water, apple juice, Popsicles, Jell-o, and clear tea. At noon I have to start drinking a bottle of Citromag, and I'm supposed to make it last two hours. Mmmm. Delicious and fun.

I'm feeling nervous right now. I find hospitals and hospital staff to be very intimidating. My own infertility doc is performing the surgery, which is somewhat reassuring. I've heard from another patient who's had a couple of laps, one with him and one with another doc, that he's very good at it (as he should be; it's listed as one of his specialties on his business card).

I know that this is a common procedure for those dealing with infertility, but at times like this it feels just a bit surreal — going to such lengths to try to get pregnant. I'm having surgery tomorrow. I'm having surgery when there might not be anything wrong. I know it's important to know for sure, but there is definitely a little part of my brain saying, "This is crazy!"

Am I the only one who feels this way?

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A Few Carefree Days

These past few work-free, worry-free days have been wonderful. On the weekend I played glow-in-the-dark minigolf, saw a movie at the theatre, ate out, and spent time with family and friends.

Today, I got a haircut (not quite what I wanted but I like it anyway), bought some new lipstick (in a subtle, barely-there shade that I feel very comfortable with), went to the dentist (no cavities!), and had dinner at a restaurant (again). It was a lovely day. Here's a picture in which you can see my new haircut, my new lipstick, and my newly cleaned teeth.



(My hubby must think I'm nuts. I took about ten pictures
of myself before I got one that satisfied me. I really don't
photograph well.)

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Reprieve!

My "holidays" have become holidays! Yeah, I still have to fast on Tuesday and spend all day Wednesday at the hospital, but I'm not going to do anything work related for a whole week. I spoke to my supervisor about my workload issues and he said we could give the book I was going to spend my holidays working on to the intern. I was so relieved I almost cried, if that makes any sense. I honestly didn't imagine the solution would be that easy.

I hate to realize that I brought so much stress on myself just because I didn't want to admit that I was so far behind, and I didn't want to cause problems for my supervisor, who has enough stress of his own. I kept thinking I can handle this, I should be able to handle this, and blaming myself for not working fast enough, for being too distracted in the office, etc.

But I realized that this week needs to be about me. I'm going to get a haircut and I'm going to watch movies and Gilmore Girls episodes. And I'm not going to worry about work one little bit! It'll be fabulous.

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"Holidays"; Or, Why I Need a New Job

I just can't handle the workload anymore. I routinely give up weekends and evenings to try to keep up, and frankly I resent it. I know it's at least partly because I'm not as productive as I should be at the office these days, but that can't possibly account for all of it.

Here's the deal: I copyedit books. And once again, my entire schedule for a book has blown by without me having had any time to actually work on that book. This particular book would normally be a three-week project. I had already agreed to do it in two weeks. Now I will be attempting to do it in one week — my "holidays." My "holidays" during which I will also be having my laparoscopy.

I'm not happy about this. It seems wrong. But there's no easy way to deal with it, and I just really just want to run away and maybe hibernate for a few months. Here's a picture:

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Random Pic of the Day

I searched for years to find the perfect tea set that wasn't shockingly expensive. I finally found this one in January and I love it. It's so me — so smooth and shiny and pretty pale blue. It makes me happy. I think Austin likes it too. :)

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