Eek!

It's finally here! Today is bowel prep day, and tomorrow is my laparoscopy (and dye injection, hysteroscopy, and D&C).

I was allowed to have a light breakfast before 8:00 a.m., and now I can have only clear fluids until 6:30 a.m. tomorrow, after which time I can have "nothing by mouth." (The surgery's at 10:30 a.m.) We just came back from buying supplies at the grocery store. Today's menu for me: water, apple juice, Popsicles, Jell-o, and clear tea. At noon I have to start drinking a bottle of Citromag, and I'm supposed to make it last two hours. Mmmm. Delicious and fun.

I'm feeling nervous right now. I find hospitals and hospital staff to be very intimidating. My own infertility doc is performing the surgery, which is somewhat reassuring. I've heard from another patient who's had a couple of laps, one with him and one with another doc, that he's very good at it (as he should be; it's listed as one of his specialties on his business card).

I know that this is a common procedure for those dealing with infertility, but at times like this it feels just a bit surreal — going to such lengths to try to get pregnant. I'm having surgery tomorrow. I'm having surgery when there might not be anything wrong. I know it's important to know for sure, but there is definitely a little part of my brain saying, "This is crazy!"

Am I the only one who feels this way?