Tough Decisions
>> Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I think we've made a very big decision, but I keep second-guessing it because it's a scary one. I just don't know how to make a decision like this.
Here it is: I don't think I'm going back to work after my leave. How am I supposed to leave my baby to go back to a job that bores me to tears? Not to mention the fact that my job description likely will be changing for the worse while I'm off. And that daycare likely will cost more than half my take-home income. Is it worth it? I'm pretty sure it's not... Also, if I do want a spot in a daycare centre, I should be arranging it, like, now — if not about six months ago.
Also, I hope to start TTC for baby #2 around the same time I'd be returning to work, which seems like I'm being a rather poor employee considering that I got pregnant within two months of starting there. (Keep in mind, my American friends, that maternity leave here is one year: I worked there for 10 months, took a year off, then hope to be having another baby and taking another year off ASAP. Bad employee.)
Keith's income covers our bills and basic living expenses with nothing to spare. Anything I bring in would be for discretional spending and savings. I hope to be able to earn some money as a freelancer, but obviously that wouldn't be reliable income. Scary!
Am I selfish for wanting to stay home? Is this the right decision for my family, or am I endangering our financial well-being for all the wrong reasons? I can't tell. Is it even the best thing for Andrew? Maybe he'd benefit from daycare. I don't know!
I don't know how to make this decision. Keith tells me I should not return to work, but he's rather flippant about it. The real weight of it is on my shoulders.
3 comments:
I found you through blog-hopping. Your son is beautiful!!I have been a stay at home mom since my second son was 7 months. (after 3 mos leave)But I just could not justify daycare for 2. Probably would not have any pay to bring home. Sometimes the budget would be a bit tight, but we always had food on the table, a roof over our head and never a late payment. But most importantly was that we had (have) 2 happy healthy children. And now my "baby" started school this year. Time goes by so so quickly!!!
I don't regret the decision to stay home. We couldn't justify the hassle and time away from our daughter once we calculated daycare costs, convenience foods, gas commuting, etc. However, it did become a long road, because I rarely got a break from DD, and that's hard on anyone. If you could arrange babysitting, or some sort of break, that you can count on one afternoon a week, it will help.
good luck with your decision! so jealous you get a year off! I always forget you are in Canada.
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